the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
