she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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