Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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