today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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