I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
