She's JV to your varsity
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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