Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
