I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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