Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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