I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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