Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We are all done wearing pants today
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
