I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
a search helicopter?!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
