we have officially mastered the walk of shame
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
