I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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