so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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