we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
