I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
