I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
