Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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