I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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