Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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