YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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