Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
