I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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