You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
