You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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