There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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