Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
