from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
