Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
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Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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