Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He did a backflip because drugs
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
