Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
