I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
