Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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