went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
