Midget sex pt 2 tonight
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize