I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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