Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you traded sex for a burrito?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
