know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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