You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
