I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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