I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
