You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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