i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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