ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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