i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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