In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
