Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
