bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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