I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
