Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
