I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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