Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
