puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
