Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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