i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize