there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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