We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
