she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize