how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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