so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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