No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Boobs speak an international language.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
