Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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