Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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