can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
