one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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