I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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